The Roz Case
by Octavian
Summary: Bullet recalls the "Revenge of the BabySat"


It's one of those days. Yes, I know why I am here now. House arrest. I can recollect the whole thing. I call it the "Roz Case." But I'm not a Historian, I'm a P.I.  
  
Tracer Bullet's the name. I'm the best of the best. I can predict the future. The sound of greenbacks on my hand can tell me I'll be at the local bar tonight. The smell of my friends tells me I'll be content for just a while.  
  
But my friends are the most curious fellows. I have two, once is close to my heart. He's my orator in times of trouble. He's a killer speaker, and yet a life saver. My other friend helps me get my mind off things. I usually meet him at the bar, or in the top right drawer of my desk. But for a friend, he cost some serious dough.  
  
***  
  
The Mayor and his wife were gone out of town for a few days. The police chief and fire chief were out of town for a few days. The county judge, and the head of surgeons were out of town for a few days. The big time positions had signs hanging on their doors. It was usually marked, "Out of a day or two." For the common eye, it was a coincidence. For me, it was not. I knew their secret, they were all the same person. I call the chump behind it the mayor, but he is the kingpin behind all of the city and crime. Nobody but me and his cronies know this. But I dare not tell the secret. The gorillas lurk in the back alleys, that's where all my dirty work is done. But I have yet to get enough evidence to run him out of the town.  
  
The only person left from his group was the dame downstairs. She does the dirty work, that's keeping her stinkin' eye on me. Her name is Roz. I shiver when I think of that name, but I don't let anyone notice it, I have to stay tough. With the crimelord out of town, and Roz vunerable, I decided to take my friends and get that evidence.  
  
I casually walked out of the office, not to attract attention. The look on my face would give any stranger the thought that I was going down the the local bar. I found myself downstairs. The plan, ringing like Aunt Martha's triange when supper time comes. The plan? I walk in, look around, take, run, hide.  
  
I stood at the door, sweat was pouring down my neck. I was hot on both the trail of evidence, and under my coat. I casually opened the door, but I made sure she heard me. She's that kind of dame. Yeah, that kind. If she was surprised, she'd break my heart by ruining my plan, and my arms by pushing me out.  
  
She looked up at me, but said nothing. She poured back down over her yellowed papers. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew those were it, the bowling ball needed to knock down the kingpin. I slowly walked in and sat down in front of her. I asked her if I could look at the papers. She didn't directly answer me, but replied with, "don't touch anything."  
  
The movement I made was so fast, I didn't even see it coming. I had the papers in my hand in less than a second. I ran out the door, and down the hall. I looked back, and she was pumped like a gorilla, and running after me. I ran into a small, empty office. I quickly closed the door and locked it.  
  
It was an office, occupied by some mirrors, a table, and a fireplace with an active fire. It was small, but protection enough. The dames screams hit a pitch unknown to man, and no doubt attracting attention. The horrid screams were telling me to give the paper back. I came up with a quick plan, and asked for ransom; money, or the fire gets fed.  
  
Within all the fun, I remembered the the info I needed on the papers. "If Jim buys 5 guns for $149.95 each, and Joe buys 6 guns for $110 each, who spent the most money, and what was the difference?"  
  
My eyes became as wide as dinner plates as I read the rest of the paper. The dame was filling out order forms for guns and ammunition. The dame was screaming, but I paid no attention. But then a fragment caught my attention, "I'll do anything!" Anything.  
  
"How about demands?" I yelled. She said I was crazy. But I threatened her by telling her how the fire needed more fuel. She said she'd hear the demands. I told her I didn't want to be the patsy of this case, I wanted a few drinks. She interupted me, but I took no heed and asked if she was listening.  
  
There was no reply, the dame had left. "She must have given up" I thought. But I still listened, the silence was eerie and it deafened me.  
  
A thought struck me like a bullet. What if she called the fire department, and they came and broke open the door with their axes. No thought to me had ever been so horrible and amusing at the same time.  
  
Cautiously, I slid towards the door. I unlocked it, then opened it slowly. The eerie silence still hung around the hall. I yelled for Roz. No answer. "Are you calling the fire department?" No answer. I took a step forward, which proved to be almost fatal. Because Roz jumped me. I blacked out.  
  
I was awakened by the sound of the orchestra. Composed by the mayor. I was in front row seats. I had been here before, it was just the same old song, with minor changes.  
  
After it was through, the mayors cronies gagged me, blindfolded me, and carried me away. I kicked and struggled, but I was out numbered.  
  
I found myself in my office a few minutes later. The mayor entered. Singing a song to the tune of the orchestra's music, I only caught that I was under house arrest for the rest of the day. And I caught the tune of being banned from the pictures for the rest of the week. I ended up locked in my office, no money, my friends; gone.  
  
***  
  
Here I sit at my desk, recalling the case. They'll be sorry. Wait until they find out what is clogging the flu in the small office. Haha.  
  
Well, I guess it's plan B now, I'll have to save the world from the mayor, aka: DAD. It does pay off to snoop and know the mayor's real name...And mild mannered Calvin still has work to do.  
  
"The mysterious masked man takes off into the cool, night sky! KAPRWING! TA-DAA! STUPENDOUS MAN!" 


End file.
